Today. A day of breaking, bending and all together unrest within my soul. I know not a way to describe this in English words, nor do I believe that any other language upon this earth can express the wailing of a soul in its intensest battles. As, in my last post the waging war of the law of sin and law of God persisted throughout this awful day. With much force and relentless numbers the enemy, SIN, pounded on the door of my heart and mind. And numerous times my heart and mind gave ground, though some how the fronts were held. On many occasions the enemy slipped in unnoticed over an unfortified garden wall and attacked at me from within my very ranks, before some how being dispatched. Also, numerous other times the enemy would launch missiles at my defenses and crush them as if they were made with water, but some thing in these walls held. Many times decapitated heads of my past failures and defeats would be hurled in and strike fear into the very core of my defenses, but some where within courage prevailed. A few times the dragons of the enemies would burn all that I held as strong and sure, and I would watch as it fell into piles of ash, yet some thing was solid beneath my feet.
And when the battle had raged, the missiles slowed to a halt, the assassins dispatched, the fronts quieted, and the intermission taken, and the smoke, ash and dust settled the damage was incredible, yet, no defeat had come in my heart and mind. Despite that defeats and failures were innumerable the fortress of my soul held. And as I stared at the enemy I saw clearly that every soldier was dead, every siege engine spent and broken, every weapon made of flesh and the all the dragons were but wisps of smoke and fog. They were but illusions of might, power or victory, that all I fought were ghosts and living dead.
Then I looked among me and saw the living, Almighty, Omnipotent, Glorious and Victorious fighting alongside me the entire battle long, despite my illusion of solitary efforts. And that when the fronts held and the assassins were dispatched and the walls held firm and the courage prevailed and the foundation stable it was not me or my pitiful army but My LORD, the Savior-Warrior-King, and His unfailing faithfulness and love fighting on my behalf. That if I had but turned to look at Him and His limitless strength I would not been deceived that my enemies were strong or fearsome. For with my Savior's power and majesty I would have seen that they were defeated before they came and conquered long before the battle begun. O my God, forgive my foolishness and weakness when the battle in my soul comes and I accuse You of not being around to help me fight this enemy! "For you are with me" and I will fear no evil or enemy, because they are defeated and in the grave since Your day of victory!
I pray that this overflow of my heart is used by the Spirit to help you recognize what He so graciously showed me. Basically this:
If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died-more than that, who was raised-who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? . . . No, in all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For i am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor demons, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, more height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us form the love of God in Christ Jesus our LORD! Romans 8:31-35,37-39Victoriously,
A fellow soldier and alien of this world
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